Barely Functioning

The other day we had some people staying at our house. It took 15 minute to review the things that are a "little off" in our house. That is code speak for the things that are broken/not working properly.
It was so fun to show them to others I thought it would be fun to one day reminisce about our situation because I am sure it will be funny some day--

• Television. The main TV in our house is currently only 17 inches and not wide-screen. Not only is it almost impossible to see small print when sitting on the couch, we now get at least 2-4 inches cut off of most shows. Yep, if we watch a football game on channel 2 we can't see the score up in the corner. We have to wait for someone to verbally announce it or take a commercial break when they post the score in the middle of the screen.
• VCR. Our TV listed above is part of a TV/VCR combo given to us at some point. Yep, I said VCR so you know how old it is. We tried to use recently and it ate the tape. Tape is stuck inside permanently.
• DVR. Our DVR is connected to the above mentioned TV. It plays but every 15 seconds it gets really dark and then brightens up for a few seconds. The kids have finally put an end to watching it.
• Printer. Our printer only decides to print periodically. We aren't sure what makes it decide to actually print.
• Toilet. The handle on our toilet gets stuck every time you flush meaning it will continue to run. You must give the handle a little shake every time you flush.
• Front Door Lock. Our house recently shifted and we can no longer lock our front door. Luckily, we have a metal screen door that you can lock but you must be pushing all your weight into the door and using excessive force.
• Microwave. Our microwave occasionally just takes a break. It completely shuts off, shows the number 999 and won't start for a few minutes.
• Window blinds. I count 4 window blinds that no longer work normally. To open/close you have to pull each of the 4 strands individually to get the sides the same height. One blind had the string completely break off and the only way we get it to stay up is to stuff a clothespin in the corner.
• Dryer. Our dryer starts ever cycle with an very loud squeaking noise. If you wait long enough it goes away so I'd say problem fixed.

Note: This blog post was originally written in October 2013. I thought maybe I could give an update but the only thing we have fixed is the printer! Finally broke down and bought a new one. Wish I could report that things in our house are up and running but that would just be a lie.